








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 934 | 35% |
| Smokes | 611 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 530 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,581 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | AdiosXD | 67% | 9 |
| #7 | NEBULA | 64% | 11 |
| #8 | tanaka1azy | 57% | 7 |
| #9 | Leviossa | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | 777 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdiosXD | 4 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | Tilt | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | NEBULA | 3 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | todema | 3 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | f0cus | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0cus | 58 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tilt | 53 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | todema | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | tanaka1azy | 21 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | B | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |





