








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1951 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 29% |
| Smokes | 716 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2618 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2533 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,664 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 721 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BillClinton69 | 45% | 211 |
| #8 | TruecelGroypmaxxerHyperborealist | 42% | 134 |
| #9 | Orca | 40% | 48 |
| #10 | Dnak_Magik | 35% | 31 |
| #11 | ByteMyBits | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaunster200 | 47 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | BillClinton69 | 31 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | ElRojo | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Orca | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | TruecelGroypmaxxerHyperborealist | 7 | 0.0026 |





