








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 653 | 33% |
| Smokes | 500 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,276 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeit | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Autistic Ali | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | MxddHxTTer | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | K3ith | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | Clon3™ | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Brian (Make-a-Wish Kid) | 60% | 35 |
| #7 | Vulture™ | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Rogue™ | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | 2dotS™ | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | Faith | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brian (Make-a-Wish Kid) | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Faith | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Rogue™ | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | zeit | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | MxddHxTTer | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autistic Ali | 80 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | Faith | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Clon3™ | 61 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rogue™ | 54 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brian (Make-a-Wish Kid) | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toby | +4.59 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Rogue™ | +3.89 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | zeit | +3.21 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | 2dotS™ | +1.10 | 89 | 75 |
| #5 | Clon3™ | +0.98 | 69 | 80 |





