








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 16% |
| Smokes | 371 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 642 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,087 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dishwasher | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Retro.w | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | nsgeci.w | 42% | 78 |
| #4 | pocoz | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Dishwasher | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dishwasher | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Retro.w | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | nsgeci.w | 42% | 78 |
| #4 | pocoz | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Dishwasher | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsgeci.w | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Retro.w | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Dishwasher | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | pocoz | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsgeci.w | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Retro.w | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dishwasher | 30 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dishwasher | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | pocoz | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsgeci.w | +1.65 | 88 | 42 |
| #2 | Retro.w | +1.34 | 81 | 43 |
| #3 | Dishwasher | +0.22 | 72 | 31 |
| #4 | pocoz | -0.75 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | -1.67 | 62 | 49 |





