








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1559 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1944 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 509 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1602 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,580 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ж Widow | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ians | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Mongo | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | dDeeVo | 56% | 71 |
| #5 | Roundedtexas | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Roundedtexas | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | COMRADE CONNOR | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Theredstar | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | nVr^ | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | ✪Merk | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDeeVo | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | COMRADE CONNOR | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | nVr^ | 3 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Roundedtexas | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Mongo | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDeeVo | 378 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mongo | 61 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Roundedtexas | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | COMRADE CONNOR | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Theredstar | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | +4.07 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | dDeeVo | +2.93 | 72 | 83 |
| #3 | nVr^ | +1.34 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | ians | +1.10 | 75 | 38 |
| #5 | ик | +0.13 | 64 | 53 |





