








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2931 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3393 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2771 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,918 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fogel | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Bussolini | 46% | 70 |
| #3 | Mörbultaren | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | Yu Bai Yuan | 45% | 177 |
| #5 | Roffe | 44% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyke Myson | 456 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Roffe | 241 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mörbultaren | 201 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bussolini | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yu Bai Yuan | 139 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fogel | +4.06 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Mörbultaren | +1.54 | 58 | 45 |
| #3 | Roffe | +0.66 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | Murhaf #PJÄSOUT | -0.17 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | Yu Bai Yuan | -0.97 | 63 | 36 |





