








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1256 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1934 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1672 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,863 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Johanne.HS | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | ugh | 52% | 54 |
| #7 | . | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | D: | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Fuzz | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ugh | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Johanne.HS | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | . | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johanne.HS | +2.31 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | ugh | +1.45 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | . | +1.28 | 78 | 24 |
| #4 | Lassegotwild | +0.89 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | coachdp | +0.56 | 82 | 77 |





