








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2768 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2403 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1820 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1912 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,939 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horizon | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ★ Plu ★ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | BLACK STAR | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Peterrrrrrrr | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Bergerretti | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Plu ★ | 483 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Horizon | 239 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | BLACK STAR | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Peterrrrrrrr | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bergerretti | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |





