








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 480 | 22% |
| Smokes | 560 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 548 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,948 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquastics | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | αѕαℓєℓ | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | ValeraGambomambo | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquastics | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | αѕαℓєℓ | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | ValeraGambomambo | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValeraGambomambo | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | αѕαℓєℓ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValeraGambomambo | 127 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | αѕαℓєℓ | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | aquastics | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquastics | +1.62 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | zntx | +0.88 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | αѕαℓєℓ | +0.80 | 76 | 42 |
| #4 | ValeraGambomambo | -3.51 | 9 | 39 |





