










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1997 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2494 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2217 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,961 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ristbo | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | Broken Angel | 44% | 79 |
| #8 | Darix | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | ʄʟʏɮօʏʏʏ | 40% | 52 |
| #10 | SweetyPia | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 22 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Kiffen | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Schn4ppi | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Darix | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Broken Angel | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 337 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ʄʟʏɮօʏʏʏ | 146 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Schn4ppi | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kiffen | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Timo | 75 | 0.07 | 1 min |





