








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4399 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4616 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3241 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,952 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UshtoR | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Holger Babo Lentz | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | UnisoL | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | FoOp | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Marcinho1909 | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cxnnj | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | FoOp | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Marcinho1909 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | UshtoR | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | UnisoL | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cxnnj | 161 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Marcinho1909 | 139 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | UnisoL | 91 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chro0fAim | 90 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Holger Babo Lentz | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |





