








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2010 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,391,287 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPerVu (*^_^*) | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | michael | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mr.Rhino | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ParmeSean | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jdeez | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael | 306 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | PaPerVu (*^_^*) | 214 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jdeez | 199 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ParmeSean | 145 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr.Rhino | 92 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPerVu (*^_^*) | +6.65 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | Jdeez | +2.14 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | michael | +0.21 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | ParmeSean | -1.69 | 29 | 44 |
| #5 | Professor.Snake | -1.94 | 42 | 38 |





