








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2311 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1559 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,412 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Another Shpee | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | imacry | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Stop Commending Me | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Another Shpee | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | imacry | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Stop Commending Me | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Another Shpee | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Another Shpee | 141 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | imacry | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Stop Commending Me | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WSun1 | +3.05 | 88 | 41 |
| #2 | imacry | +0.38 | 63 | 41 |
| #3 | Stop Commending Me | -0.90 | 73 | 31 |
| #4 | Just Another Shpee | -1.98 | 66 | 68 |





