








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2013 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2053 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1823 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,630 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enerji | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Awslele ⚡ 💔 | 61% | 56 |
| #3 | TA7LOOB | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | 1zaeeM | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Warrior | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1zaeeM | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ∲∲Obey me and shut up∲∲ | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Awslele ⚡ 💔 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | TA7LOOB | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | ✪ smoKy | 2 | 0.0056 |





