








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 32% |
| Smokes | 94 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 330 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 294 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,730 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToastyD | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Papa Scott | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | teef | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | msn | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | eefan | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToastyD | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Papa Scott | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | teef | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | msn | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | eefan | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Scott | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | msn | 108 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | teef | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ToastyD | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Papa Scott | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | eefan | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | msn | +5.14 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | teef | +1.75 | 51 | 68 |
| #3 | ToastyD | +0.08 | 55 | 44 |
| #4 | Cap'n Crunch Treats | -1.49 | 44 | 60 |
| #5 | eefan | -2.40 | 54 | 60 |





