








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 228 | 14% |
| Smokes | 438 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 409 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 588 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,799 of utility $287 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qpromes | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | ShaNo | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Sandalsniffaren | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Beno! | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | Nut. | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qpromes | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | ShaNo | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Sandalsniffaren | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Beno! | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | Nut. | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaNo | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Nut. | 3 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Beno! | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Sandalsniffaren | 2 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaNo | 192 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | qpromes | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Beno! | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nut. | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sandalsniffaren | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaNo | +2.69 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | qpromes | +1.82 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | Nut. | +0.47 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | Sandalsniffaren | -0.37 | 46 | 56 |
| #5 | Fr1lz | -0.60 | 75 | 54 |





