








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1033 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 896 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1096 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,733 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burlem | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | 🐸 Freddy 🐸 | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | MR.Bunny | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | B4GG3 | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | seb | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | MeSterLund | 50% | 6 |
| #18 | Trun1eX | 50% | 10 |
| #19 | Reakz | 33% | 9 |
| #20 | Tobiasnn2 | 30% | 10 |
| #21 | chirp | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /Steff3n/ | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | B4GG3 | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | 🐸 Freddy 🐸 | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | kickback.com I TigerX I xGuys | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #5 | Willibam | 1 | 0.0026 |





