








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 14% |
| Smokes | 270 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 482 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 688 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,000 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zamuul | 32% | 34 |
| #9 | Kanelbullen | 31% | 49 |
| #10 | Bounzer | 29% | 7 |
| #11 | Billy G | 20% | 25 |
| #12 | Kazakhstan War Lord | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanelbullen | 13 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Zamuul | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Carolus Rex | 8 | 0.0379 |
| #4 | Chairdolf Sitler | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | MexicanSteve1#RustChance.com | 3 | 0.0194 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessed | 108 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kanelbullen | 68 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bounzer | 33 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kazakhstan War Lord | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Billy G | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |





