








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,650 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ krunc ♥ | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | jeffchild126 | 41% | 222 |
| #5 | IAmBengal | 41% | 54 |
| #6 | Gavind | 40% | 167 |
| #7 | msck | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeffchild126 | 78 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Gavind | 60 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | IAmBengal | 26 | 0.0250 |
| #4 | msck | 21 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ krunc ♥ | 11 | 0.0119 |





