








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2427 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1838 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2433 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,554 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiszin | 56% | 80 |
| #2 | your team are have tomorrow big? | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Angrolano | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | No big | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | Xunga | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No big | 26 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Angrolano | 6 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Xunga | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | your team are have tomorrow big? | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Zerik | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiszin | 437 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | Zerik | 322 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Xunga | 200 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jogador Caro | 192 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | your team are have tomorrow big? | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |





