








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2552 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,746 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrickierSquid48 | 64% | 182 |
| #2 | boywife32 | 61% | 319 |
| #3 | CheckedGull127 | 58% | 114 |
| #4 | THECOMEBUSTER | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrickierSquid48 | 64% | 182 |
| #2 | boywife32 | 61% | 319 |
| #3 | CheckedGull127 | 58% | 114 |
| #4 | THECOMEBUSTER | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrickierSquid48 | 46 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | boywife32 | 29 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | CheckedGull127 | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | THECOMEBUSTER | 5 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrickierSquid48 | 559 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | boywife32 | 399 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | CheckedGull127 | 234 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | THECOMEBUSTER | 27 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boywife32 | +3.57 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | TrickierSquid48 | +1.43 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | KiwiVision | +1.25 | 81 | 32 |
| #4 | CheckedGull127 | -2.74 | 56 | 33 |
| #5 | THECOMEBUSTER | -5.43 | 18 | 11 |





