








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Esplay | 27 matches | 1,829 | |
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1550 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,987 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Prime | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Staz | 68% | 22 |
| #6 | 疯狂的 | 62% | 50 |
| #7 | adam | 61% | 44 |
| #8 | Von 💦 | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adam | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | LOLYOU | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Staz | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Flexy | 2 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | 疯狂的 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adam | 121 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Von 💦 | 83 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | 疯狂的 | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | LOLYOU | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Staz | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flexy | +3.97 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | Von 💦 | +3.23 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | adam | +2.73 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Staz | +2.26 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | Prime | +1.55 | 86 | 68 |





