








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 438 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1008 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,443 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 4balu2 | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Fishfe | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | laura | 33% | 9 |
| #13 | Mejon1 | 33% | 12 |
| #14 | maze | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishfe | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Natirum-Chlorid-Mann | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Phoenix | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Wodkahontas | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Terra | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wodkahontas | 342 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Terra | 207 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Natirum-Chlorid-Mann | 151 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | 4balu2 | 112 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪Schärommmツ | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | +8.60 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | ☣ Hans183wurst | +7.11 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | Natirum-Chlorid-Mann | +4.58 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | ✪Schärommmツ | +3.78 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Fishfe | +2.52 | 81 | 54 |





