








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4272 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3312 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3122 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2385 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,561 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BOKI MAN | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Noxgenix | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | chino | 48% | 42 |
| #11 | thomaschan | 41% | 58 |
| #12 | yeung_7 | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben987651 | 401 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | BOKI MAN | 361 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | -Smile- | 210 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | bandit the cat | 190 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | thomaschan | 144 | 0.12 | 4 min |





