








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2423 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1468 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 714 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1175 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,739 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vencritter | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | neko | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | Kurumii | 44% | 78 |
| #4 | Hoshiyomi | 42% | 136 |
| #5 | григори распутин | 39% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vencritter | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | neko | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | Kurumii | 44% | 78 |
| #4 | Hoshiyomi | 42% | 136 |
| #5 | григори распутин | 39% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoshiyomi | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | neko | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | vencritter | 4 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | григори распутин | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Kurumii | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | григори распутин | 375 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | neko | 245 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hoshiyomi | 188 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kurumii | 186 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | vencritter | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neko | +2.75 | 75 | 49 |
| #2 | vencritter | +1.56 | 55 | 45 |
| #3 | Mahiro | +0.57 | 48 | 53 |
| #4 | Hoshiyomi | +0.07 | 23 | 41 |
| #5 | Kurumii | +0.04 | 58 | 32 |





