








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 588 | 29% |
| Smokes | 559 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,881 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chad | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 2 black men kissing | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chad | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 2 black men kissing | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chad | 2 | 0.0177 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chad | 32 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | 2 black men kissing | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chad | +9.51 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | (X-counterstrike pro) Halo Dog | +2.23 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | 2 black men kissing | +0.74 | 77 | 60 |





