










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 133 | 21% |
| Smokes | 312 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 119 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,844 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyl4nd3r | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | DOG BAB | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Isagi | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Valt Aoi | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | V1per_Zero | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyl4nd3r | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | DOG BAB | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Isagi | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Valt Aoi | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | V1per_Zero | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valt Aoi | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | V1per_Zero | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valt Aoi | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | V1per_Zero | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hyl4nd3r | 17 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | Isagi | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isagi | +4.84 | 54 | 38 |
| #2 | jade | +1.25 | 49 | 22 |
| #3 | DOG BAB | +1.22 | 45 | 22 |
| #4 | Valt Aoi | -0.58 | 40 | 35 |
| #5 | Hyl4nd3r | -0.91 | 49 | 47 |





