










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 127 | 24% |
| Smokes | 161 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 118 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,190 of utility $288 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dee | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Shrek | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | cat on the mic ♡ | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dee | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Shrek | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | cat on the mic ♡ | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dee | 7 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Shrek | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | cat on the mic ♡ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrek | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | cat on the mic ♡ | 100 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dee | 21 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reactrix | +1.62 | 62 | 30 |
| #2 | cat on the mic ♡ | +1.19 | 53 | 42 |
| #3 | Shrek | -1.19 | 46 | 51 |
| #4 | Dee | -4.55 | 36 | 21 |





