










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2067 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2099 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,117 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arvi | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | 141D | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | Mengus | 49% | 179 |
| #4 | Joe Rotate | 48% | 197 |
| #5 | vikvii | 46% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Joe Rotate | 48% | 197 |
| #5 | vikvii | 46% | 183 |
| #6 | w7ze | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Xaero | 39% | 87 |
| #8 | Renault Laguna | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mengus | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Xaero | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | vikvii | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 141D | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Arvi | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mengus | 716 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | vikvii | 448 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Xaero | 400 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | Joe Rotate | 189 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Arvi | 133 | 0.42 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mengus | +3.24 | 56 | 76 |
| #2 | Arvi | +2.41 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Renault Laguna | +1.54 | 37 | 74 |
| #4 | w7ze | +0.44 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Xaero | +0.33 | 63 | 57 |





