








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




186 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4054 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3785 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3106 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,902 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jezzy jez | 57% | 80 |
| #2 | boneS | 55% | 237 |
| #3 | benny | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Greasy | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | stig` | 48% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | benny | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Greasy | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | stig` | 48% | 195 |
| #6 | Secretary Jessica | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | menacing balls | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benny | 75 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | boneS | 71 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | stig` | 41 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | menacing balls | 21 | 0.0335 |
| #5 | jezzy jez | 11 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benny | 1237 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | boneS | 626 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | jezzy jez | 299 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | stig` | 298 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Secretary Jessica | 102 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benny | +3.83 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | jezzy jez | +3.44 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Greasy | +2.71 | 88 | 38 |
| #4 | Secretary Jessica | +2.33 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | boneS | +0.81 | 65 | 64 |





