








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 616 | 24% |
| Smokes | 494 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 608 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,420 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rêllïk | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Umpaloompa | 58% | 72 |
| #3 | Creamy | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Think Fast Chucklenuts | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rêllïk | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Umpaloompa | 58% | 72 |
| #3 | Creamy | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Think Fast Chucklenuts | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creamy | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Think Fast Chucklenuts | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Umpaloompa | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Rêllïk | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creamy | 292 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Umpaloompa | 198 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rêllïk | 147 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Think Fast Chucklenuts | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rêllïk | +3.65 | 88 | 77 |
| #2 | Think Fast Chucklenuts | +2.81 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | Vengeance | +1.69 | 77 | 38 |
| #4 | Umpaloompa | +1.13 | 57 | 59 |
| #5 | Creamy | -0.66 | 69 | 52 |





