








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 23% |
| Smokes | 130 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 333 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 84 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,765 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jason | 29% | 52 |
| #8 | Inferno player | 29% | 35 |
| #9 | Winnie P puffer | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | 💯 | 24% | 25 |
| #11 | Zeus | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | full time sex haver | 27 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Dust 2 player | 14 | 0.0227 |
| #3 | Jason | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Inferno player | 8 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | MyNanRipsMadCones | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyNanRipsMadCones | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jason | 166 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | full time sex haver | 165 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Inferno player | 78 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zeus | 72 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dust 2 player | +4.89 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | Inferno player | +4.39 | 79 | 49 |
| #3 | full time sex haver | +4.13 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Jason | +3.65 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | 💯 | +2.81 | 67 | 66 |





