










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 49 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 10 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,350 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silly Loy '3' | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | Mr. Freelo | 30% | 27 |
| #3 | [DARK MAGA] Luh Negev | 26% | 23 |
| #4 | WONKeyFist | 17% | 12 |
| #5 | ALVVOGGLAS | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mr. Freelo | 30% | 27 |
| #3 | [DARK MAGA] Luh Negev | 26% | 23 |
| #4 | WONKeyFist | 17% | 12 |
| #5 | ALVVOGGLAS | 14% | 7 |
| #6 | now let me tell you something | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WONKeyFist | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | now let me tell you something | 18 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | Mr. Freelo | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | [DARK MAGA] Luh Negev | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | ALVVOGGLAS | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | WONKeyFist | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Freelo | +3.75 | 68 | 23 |
| #2 | now let me tell you something | +0.26 | 44 | 51 |
| #3 | Silly Loy '3' | +0.09 | 65 | 18 |
| #4 | WONKeyFist | -0.66 | 26 | 30 |
| #5 | Brandlo | -3.31 | 28 | 20 |





