








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 17% |
| Smokes | 788 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 809 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,150 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NYANELIT3 | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Dramzi | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪ R!pper | | 100% | 6 |
| #4 | Clemme | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | Run | 69% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Run | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Costello | 2 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | Agger | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Das | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Xyze | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Run | 149 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Agger | 112 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr.Massi [lp] | 103 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | 7EN5 | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Coach | 29 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agger | +2.27 | 61 | 73 |
| #2 | Costello | +2.16 | 59 | 77 |
| #3 | Run | +2.09 | 61 | 80 |
| #4 | Xyze | +1.73 | 91 | 50 |
| #5 | KRAG | +1.22 | 75 | 62 |





