








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1759 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 855 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8089 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9652 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9384 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 11867 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,704,835 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALEX | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | $moke | 57% | 167 |
| #3 | honeyboy | 50% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALEX | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | $moke | 57% | 167 |
| #3 | honeyboy | 50% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $moke | 24 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | honeyboy | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ALEX | 13 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $moke | 215 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | ALEX | 213 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | honeyboy | 55 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $moke | +4.31 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | ALEX | +1.85 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | booch | -0.42 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | honeyboy | -4.25 | 35 | 20 |





