








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2975 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2208 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,172,801 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Crack!!! | 58% | 26 |
| #7 | ❤️ Looneyyy ❤ | 54% | 117 |
| #8 | L9chtanCZ | 53% | 30 |
| #9 | Foxie | 52% | 82 |
| #10 | Handy Granade | 48% | 145 |





