








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 464 | 51% |
| Smokes | 144 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 93 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,764 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌊 mort | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | H$$$$ | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | cav01D | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | bevo | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | PriXoRi | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H$$$$ | 12 | 0.0344 |
| #2 | god lifty | 2 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | xx | 2 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | cav01D | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | 🌊 mort | 1 | 0.0073 |





