








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1079 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1145 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,236 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the real j cole, yes its me | 48% | 33 |
| #2 | Les Lions | 45% | 152 |
| #3 | cocoa | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Jack Kahuna Laguna | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the real j cole, yes its me | 48% | 33 |
| #2 | Les Lions | 45% | 152 |
| #3 | cocoa | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Jack Kahuna Laguna | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the real j cole, yes its me | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Les Lions | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Les Lions | 337 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jack Kahuna Laguna | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | the real j cole, yes its me | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | cocoa | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the real j cole, yes its me | +3.80 | 58 | 46 |
| #2 | Les Lions | +0.85 | 44 | 44 |
| #3 | Jack Kahuna Laguna | +0.11 | 42 | 49 |
| #4 | cocoa | -1.58 | 52 | 33 |
| #5 | Tucker DeVries | -2.53 | 17 | 42 |





