








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 266 | 17% |
| Smokes | 320 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,149 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr lahey | 46% | 79 |
| #2 | Vejlgaard | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | HocX | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr lahey | 46% | 79 |
| #2 | Vejlgaard | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | HocX | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr lahey | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | HocX | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr lahey | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vejlgaard | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | HocX | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HocX | +2.39 | 82 | 35 |
| #2 | Vejlgaard | +2.31 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | //S0niC_THe_sAUsAgE_dESTr0YeR// | -0.33 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Mr lahey | -0.81 | 64 | 54 |





