








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 857 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1888 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3997 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3584 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,497 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | czerwin_czerwinowski | 42% | 71 |
| #6 | XDasti | 41% | 115 |
| #7 | JUSTGAMEr | 40% | 68 |
| #8 | _Zielson_ | 39% | 38 |
| #9 | MightyHipster | 33% | 40 |





