








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 973 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 67,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22999 | 34% |
| Smokes | 17210 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 12633 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14774 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,221 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | luz1o=DD! | 48% | 64 |
| #6 | Guru Glenn | 48% | 143 |
| #7 | alphasnejken | 48% | 101 |
| #8 | sleepwalker | 47% | 269 |
| #9 | L.Töj | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru Glenn | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | luz1o=DD! | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | TOFU / Gon1 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Kovu | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | alphasnejken | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepwalker | 1166 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | Kovu | 1018 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #3 | TOFU / Gon1 | 830 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #4 | Slumbert | 695 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | luz1o=DD! | 377 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru Glenn | +2.10 | 85 | 77 |
| #2 | Kovu | +1.24 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | TOFU / Gon1 | +1.16 | 87 | 73 |
| #4 | luz1o=DD! | +0.46 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | ALTR_ABDI | +0.19 | 53 | 77 |





