








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 879 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1026 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,724 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxCoonNation | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | レガエサメ | 47% | 183 |
| #3 | Foxhound | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | TheDestinedProphet | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | peppaslut | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxCoonNation | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | レガエサメ | 47% | 183 |
| #3 | Foxhound | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | TheDestinedProphet | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | peppaslut | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | レガエサメ | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TheDestinedProphet | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | peppaslut | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | xxxCoonNation | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | レガエサメ | 320 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | TheDestinedProphet | 231 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | peppaslut | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | xxxCoonNation | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Foxhound | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | レガエサメ | +2.47 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | Foxhound | +0.83 | 39 | 21 |
| #3 | xxxCoonNation | +0.60 | 62 | 40 |
| #4 | TheDestinedProphet | -0.26 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | Pals4Ganja | -2.75 | 37 | 48 |





