








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




262 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10187 | 47% |
| Smokes | 4544 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5856 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,188,546 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1838 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | | ZENDO | 56% | 123 |
| #9 | Vitrina | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | MIAMIVICESS⍟ | 48% | 60 |
| #11 | GTZ1337 | 47% | 113 |
| #12 | M4K1NON | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEEEKIISBasty | 799 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | nW|Halep | 684 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | MIAMIVICESS⍟ | 405 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #4 | | ZENDO | 377 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | GTZ1337 | 353 | 0.15 | 8 min |





