








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 790 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1112 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,470 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeremy | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Encore | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | cons1stency | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | 力量 | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | Cr4ck D4n | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cons1stency | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | 力量 | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | Cr4ck D4n | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | ProperEnemy | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | PlagueXD | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 力量 | 11 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Cr4ck D4n | 4 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | PlagueXD | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | cons1stency | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ProperEnemy | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlagueXD | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | 力量 | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | cons1stency | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | ProperEnemy | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cr4ck D4n | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Encore | +2.89 | 50 | 31 |
| #2 | 力量 | +2.44 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | Cr4ck D4n | +1.95 | 58 | 52 |
| #4 | cons1stency | +1.16 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | JonoTEVE | +0.83 | 68 | 60 |





