








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 183 | 11% |
| Smokes | 931 | 58% |
| HE Grenades | 350 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,816 of utility $5 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Asuna | 54% | 52 |
| #8 | MisterCamper | 54% | 67 |
| #9 | Kank Koffie-jænpièrre⛴⛟✈ | 53% | 70 |
| #10 | Kank Juan-jænpièrre⛴⛟ | 49% | 45 |
| #11 | skilledspacepolice | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kank Koffie-jænpièrre⛴⛟✈ | 21 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Asuna | 21 | 0.0198 |
| #3 | J | 8 | 0.0265 |
| #4 | Kank Juan-jænpièrre⛴⛟ | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | MisterCamper | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stephen Hawking | +6.20 | 97 | 54 |
| #2 | Kryptiiq | +5.78 | 98 | 55 |
| #3 | KZ_RAD | +1.47 | 55 | 19 |
| #4 | MisterCamper | +0.41 | 46 | 9 |
| #5 | Asuna | -0.23 | 64 | 35 |





