








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 547 | 25% |
| Smokes | 506 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,658 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimidie | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | you failed o_O | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Nihil | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Ollixd | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | NafisM | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fang | 68 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Chippy | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | NafisM | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | you failed o_O | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mysh | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nihil | +4.52 | 89 | 36 |
| #2 | Rimidie | +3.71 | 97 | 29 |
| #3 | you failed o_O | +1.60 | 88 | 73 |
| #4 | L♿ad | +1.00 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | Engineer | +0.97 | 78 | 62 |





