










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 36% |
| Smokes | 391 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 294 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 175 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,480 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REUFLY | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | skugmitnt | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Balfred | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | ögge | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | monkey | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skugmitnt | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | monkey | 37 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Belvira | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | REUFLY | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | iZAN | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pope | +2.98 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | monkey | +2.15 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | REUFLY | +1.91 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | ögge | +1.13 | 50 | 24 |
| #5 | iZAN | -0.04 | 62 | 54 |





