








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1203 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12681 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12542 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13665 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7587 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,970,966 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mugiwara | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | Mccxrti | 60% | 70 |
| #3 | KingGirth69 | 50% | 215 |
| #4 | Joe Biden | 49% | 742 |
| #5 | Duke Silver | 47% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Joe Biden | 49% | 742 |
| #5 | Duke Silver | 47% | 276 |
| #6 | Prettyboyfloyyd | 46% | 115 |
| #7 | DopeSpanky | 43% | 146 |
| #8 | Paragon | 37% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Biden | 34 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | KingGirth69 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | DopeSpanky | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Duke Silver | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Prettyboyfloyyd | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Biden | 1209 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #2 | Duke Silver | 267 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | KingGirth69 | 257 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Prettyboyfloyyd | 254 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Paragon | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mugiwara | +2.55 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | Mccxrti | +1.45 | 66 | 43 |
| #3 | brutal | +0.65 | 54 | 60 |
| #4 | Paragon | +0.47 | 42 | 38 |
| #5 | Joe Biden | +0.09 | 48 | 48 |





