










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 17% |
| Smokes | 383 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 373 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,343 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | широкий путин | 45% | 101 |
| #2 | 町田個Fd | 44% | 82 |
| #3 | HxEro Yellow | 42% | 113 |
| #4 | ☻ | 38% | 103 |
| #5 | Nikey | 38% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | широкий путин | 45% | 101 |
| #2 | 町田個Fd | 44% | 82 |
| #3 | HxEro Yellow | 42% | 113 |
| #4 | ☻ | 38% | 103 |
| #5 | Nikey | 38% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☻ | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | 町田個Fd | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | HxEro Yellow | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | широкий путин | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | широкий путин | 565 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | 町田個Fd | 359 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | ☻ | 349 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | HxEro Yellow | 105 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nikey | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 町田個Fd | +3.42 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | ☻ | +2.52 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | широкий путин | +0.01 | 50 | 74 |
| #4 | HxEro Yellow | -0.93 | 33 | 44 |
| #5 | Nikey | -1.58 | 56 | 38 |





