










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 493 | 26% |
| Smokes | 629 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 447 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,271 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hace | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | E | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Sjaakie Shampoo | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | the drifter | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Coeenn | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | E | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Sjaakie Shampoo | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | the drifter | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Coeenn | 56% | 27 |
| #6 | mangekyo | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coeenn | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | mangekyo | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | hace | 1 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coeenn | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sjaakie Shampoo | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | the drifter | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | E | 21 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | mangekyo | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the drifter | +4.80 | 71 | 33 |
| #2 | E | +4.37 | 74 | 50 |
| #3 | bouke | +1.88 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | Coeenn | +1.33 | 71 | 28 |
| #5 | Sjaakie Shampoo | +0.49 | 67 | 40 |





